Gossip

 I luuuuuv Niki Minaj's Bussin the mega female version. These days I am listening to it err Friday just to get my mood right. On flex mode. It's because some bitches are so fucking fearful. They are like sheep ready for the slaughterhouse or mice about to get their necks snapped in mousetraps. So these bitches tend to spread rumors, good and bad gossip to socialize themselves by discussing someone else's business when they are not around. Several women, Black and more recently white women I know like informing other this way. Doing shit like this to a third party as their main means of communication because they want their opinions to matter about the person they're talking about. 

Even if it's good gossip they want to spread the latest news rather than allow the third person's voice speak for themselves (Schafer, 2021). Harmless gossip can often be conversations between two or more people discussing another missing person's good  qualities and characteristics or ruin their reputations. But Researchers have also found that some gossip "means to foster social bonds or to promote cooperation (Cruz & Nieper: et al, 2021)." But sometimes speakers might be giving unknown facts to others they are speaking of" without the missing person's consent. A person talking about this other person might be informing others of activities about the third person that might not be normally disclosed. This could be as innocent as being a fundraiser for their community inner city baseball team's uniforms to going even further to getting the local car dealership to donate vans to their mom's local Assisted Living Facility. Although another example of gossip is also a gossiper outing a person's sexuality or telling people about a woman's children having different fathers. This kind of gossip concerns details which are none of everyone else's fucking business. So why should other people have the audacity to gossip or "speak on it?"

The same researchers also claimed that, "gossip has been argued to demonstrate the spreading of information about those who adhere to group norms (or not), and therefore functions as an efficient and effective way to communicate how people ought to behave (Ibid, 2021)." And I agree with this to a point only because these days no one will just formally inform me about things I think I should know that everyone else does. In this way I am made aware of the world around me because people choose to give good information. However Schafer (2021) from Psychology Today infers the opposite spectrum of gossip mainly covers negative connotations inferred about a target that likely holds power for gossipers. Bitches who like to gossip a little too much are not being as open about their own shit for fear of getting caught being a busybody or a hater of people they gossip about. So these days being the unapologetic Black queen that I am I have a problem with younger white bitches who really like to act out because they come to learn how fierce I am when they meet MS. BBB. 

First, they want to mimic and act like they like me so they can appropriate some skill they don't have. When they start understanding the vastness of my knowledge and confidence of who I am as an authentic Black woman they get mad. Next they act like whatever they borrowed or received from my expansive sense of womanhood means nothing to them. These white bitches even go to other Black women to "tattle" on me crying about some unfair treatment or saying a bunch of dumb shit they would never say to my face. Because these bitches are cowards. Trifling. Janky as fuck. To be honest I find this shit to be hilarious. Because this is the way of the white and privileged when they lose face. They lie. Cheat and steal. Look stupid. Cry victim. Curse their stronger foes by regretting ever "being nothing but nice to you" meaning us Black people. Really though? Fuck those bitches. Because white bitches who have tried this shit with me want our Black men. And when they can't get our Black man's attention they start finding fault with us. Acting like they don't need to earn trust or show some accountability for their whiteness. They want a lot of shit that really doesn't belong to them per se. Rumor has it that their white asses are entitled to that shit without any thought of earning trust or taking responsibility for improving the human race if not the lives of Blacks folks from which they appropriate. They can be as destructive and toxic as they want. Because there are plenty of people who will just let their weak sneaky asses just have their way with people who cause them no harm. Especially when their gossip is infused with malicious lies. Well Fuck them.

Now don't get me wrong. There are plenty of White people I don't mind being around who improve our race by earning our trust. Show some form of accountability for what they do or want to do to improve our relationships. And that is what this white bitch doesn't understand. Regardless of whether I curse her stanky diaper wearing camel back ass out errday. She does nothing to improve my race no matter what she says. Whatever she has done or lied about doing for me personally is muted  because she only wanted to appropriates knowledge and skills from me to disguise a heinous pathology she lives out of each day. She then turned around and spread rumors about my behavior. Which everyone knew were untrue. So to me this shit made her look like an asswipe and a total fool on the one hand. Yet on the other this rank bitch is being accepted and coddled by people who matter to me. People who are starting put their on her deftness. People I began to be very disappointed with who I was thinking I shouldn't give a damn about anymore. Those same people can say all they want about her gossip not hurting anyone. But it did. It hurt my feelings. And I hate the lies she tells that help her fabricate toward living she out her self-fulfilling prophecy. I hated having to accept that racial experience once again of having to tolerate a a weak assed bitch with a superiority complex I should not have to worry about having fucked up relationships with thirsty assed people like who use gossip and hearsay as weapons. I am tired of cowards spreading gossip infused with lies since it's been a real issue for me such a long time because bitches want to downplay my shine. Because they don't want anyone else to really know how truly badass I am. 

Apparently they want to appear to be like me (Bold, Brainy and Badass). While I have been a fierce Queen of this caliber all my life. Fierce as shit. And just because I don't say much it doesn't mean I won't speak my mind and shut yo ass down. Although I really am not one to gossip I am usually someone people air and vent to or tell secrets. I really hate these kinds of conversations too but am aware that everyone gossips sometimes whether they are laying in wait like drooling wolves to do it or get sucked into it without really thinking too much about it. Even listening to bad gossip about myself has been more entertaining than shit I hear about other people because gossipers annoy me. Why? Because most of them tend to do a lot of complaining. They are not making necessary change in their lives and they're waiting for somebody to come save their asses. So they gossip. To me that is not taking action. That is no action at all as far as I am concerned.

 The last article that also informed my interest this month on gossip, pointed to topics people gossip about and types of gossipers. Woman's Day magazine gives us four topics people choose most to gossip about: money and power, sex and love, reputation and lastly, celebs (2011). I can agree not much has changed since then either. Money and power are the most pronounced category because we can applaud people who got raises and compare ourselves to the Joneses to rate whether we are closer to being the Joneses. Sex and love are a hot topic because this category encompasses what women and men like and what they are doing in bed, and the time people spend dating, getting  married and trying to have families. The love and sex topic is chock full of subtitles due to technology and plain old fashioned having a side piece. Invitro, finding love on the internet, and indulging in the world of porn and SDBM also bring up conversations about gender  equality, sexual sameness and of course couples in open marriages or those who have someone cheating on their partners or spouses.

Reputation.

"Are they nice?" or "are they a jerk?" Wondering minds will want to know and people will share their opinion in the form of gossip. Gossipers can give you a reasonable version of what a boss is like or give accounts that ruin a coworker's rapport with everyone else.  Woman's Day (2011) suggested that either way researchers they asked in their article stated that we are always assessing each other. That is because we want to avoid people who intimidate, exploit or catch us off guard with their personalities and power. Another purpose for gossip is to do our best to get the lay of the land and recognize our own place on the food chain in the environment. Especially in the office where power plays are happening all the time.

In terms of entertainment gossip topics, technology gives us access to some of our most beloved characters on the big screen, t.v. and internet. Ask anyone. There isn't anything you cannot learn about or anything you cannot find out about people you want to learn about. From your favorite fashion designer to your favorite musician. Soc media property are valuable estates many times strategically placed for sale and for show. And we love it. We love the gossip about those entertainers we have followed for years. In fact my faves are Ciara, Kenya Moore, Amber Rose, and who doesn't follow the living Pink Barbie Niki Minaj. I also follow DIYers and YouTube foodies, tiny home minimalists and others. Then I can join others to boast and make comments about how much they saved their viewers time by giving hours of their time. Influencers have a way of doing things worth discovering more fun even giving people the confidence to do more with their lives. Their lectures, whether entertainment gossip or banter that comes from their familiarity with topics we love is like having living breathing neighbors I had back in the day. Only now we all can do checks whenever we want, 24\7.

So gossip and rumors. Many people still believe it is just as taboo as ever to talk behind another person's back. Yet today's modern researchers make a good case for the usefulness of gossip. Even Schafer's (2021) commentary contributes to gossip being a means of human interaction that is meant to improve our awareness of ourselves on any playing field where people find themselves. Whether we talk about people who are good examples to us or bad ones is determined by how the gossiper conveys that missing party and whether listeners choose to believe the gossiper. The listeners often end up talking about what they heard from gossipers. Do they believe the shit? Maybe not. But now the gossip is either spreading more or stopped by some who knows the real real. That's just like that stupid bitch I have actually seen pretending not to be listening while I and a few colleagues are having a conversation. I may not even be speaking. But this stupid bitch puts herself within earshot of any conversation anyone is having. Then she gets in any person's ear she wants to start her own conversation to invoke her stupid assed opinion or complaint for the week.  A song from the 80s reminds me of gossip and this stupid bitch's antics. So I will close this essay out with some if the lyrics: 

"How do rumors get started, they're started by jealous people and They get mad seein' somethin' they had 

and somebody else is holdin'

They tell me that temptation is very hard to resist but these wicked women, ooh, they just persist

Maybe you think it's cute, but girl, I'm not impressed I tell you one time only 

with my business please don't mess

Look at all these rumors surroundin' me every day 

I just need some time, some time to get away 

From all these rumors, I can't take it no more

My best friend said there's one out now about me and the girl next door"

Anyhoo. Y'all get my meaning. My hope is that we don't have to rely on rumors and gossip more than we do to find out things we want to know. Whether a subject or person gossipers need to mind their business and resist the temptation to  gossip and be all up in someone else's business. That shit is messy and it hurts people for no reason. My solution to gossipers? Avoid those who do it maliciously and those who are giving the most crude accounts of people I don't interact or want to interact with. Even when they give half-baked accounts of others I know those  if-then accounts that sound less than sincere...So I tell them to get the fuggata here.

Luv to U & Me

Ms. BBB 😘

References:

Cruz & Nieper: et al, (2021). An Integrative Definition and Framework to Study Gossip. Sage Publications: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/1059601121992887

Woman's Day (2011). 4 Most Popular Gossip Themes. https://www.womansday.com/life/a5566/4-most-popular-gossip-themes-114933/

Schafer, J. (2021). Psychology Today: Why We Like To Gossip: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/202106/why-people-gossip%3famp

Rumors (1986). D. Foster & J. King; Timex Social Club.